Navigating the Digital Jungle: Why ‘Not Yet’ Helps Kids Thrive
Here’s a breakdown of why saying “not yet” instead of a hard “no” can be empowering for both kids and parents particularly around smartphones and devices. 💡 1. “Not Yet” Builds Trust and Keeps the Door Open Saying “not yet” shows your child that you’re not dismissing their request entirely — you’re simply waiting for the right time. It tells them: 👉 “I hear you, and I’m not ignoring your wishes.”👉 “We’re in this together, and we’ll revisit it when you’re ready.” This approach keeps hope alive and strengthens trust. Kids are less likely to feel resentful or shut out because they know it’s a conversation, not a command. 💡 2. It Teaches Patience and Maturity When you say “not yet,” you’re teaching your child to delay gratification, a key life skill linked to:✅ Better focus✅ Emotional resilience✅ Stronger self-discipline By framing the smartphone as something they’ll earn when they’re ready to handle it, you’re sending a powerful message:Responsibility comes before privilege. 💡 3. It Shifts the Focus to What They CAN Do Instead of focusing on what they can’t have, “not yet” invites them to focus on their current stage of life: Enjoying childhood and face-to-face friendshipsBuilding real-world skills like problem-solving and self-regulationLearning digital balance on shared devices before owning their own💬 What to Say:“We’re saying ‘not yet’ because we want you to have the skills and confidence to handle it well when the time comes.” 💡 4. It Helps Them Feel More in Control Kids don’t like to feel powerless. A hard “no” can feel like rejection, while “not yet” gives them a sense of control over the process. 💬 What to Say:“We’ll work together to set some milestones. When you show responsibility, we’ll revisit the idea of a smartphone.” This way, they see the path forward and know their actions matter. 💡 5. It Encourages Healthy Goal-Setting Kids thrive on clear boundaries and expectations. By saying “not yet”, you can set age-appropriate goals that help them work toward the privilege of a phone. 💬 Example Milestones: “Show us you can manage screen time on the family tablet.”“Prove you can follow our family tech rules consistently.”This approach empowers them to earn your trust, making it a mutual journey rather than a parent-vs-child battle. 💡 6. It Frames the Smartphone as a Tool, Not a Toy By delaying a smartphone, you’re showing your child that it’s not just a fun gadget — it’s a powerful tool that requires responsible use. 💬 What to Say:“A smartphone is a big responsibility, and we’re here to help you get ready for it.” This helps kids see the phone as something to respect and use wisely — not just a status symbol. 🎯 Quick Parent Confidence Boost “Not yet” = Hope, not rejection.“Not yet” = Growth, not punishment.“Not yet” = Preparing them for success, not shutting them down.
Why Your Child’s Best Listener Shouldn’t Be an AI Chatbot. The New Timebomb Waiting To Explode!
Why Children Shouldn’t Trust AI for Emotional Support: It’s Crucial that they Build Real Relationships Instead Teens are forming intense relationships with ai entities, and parents have no idea. Teenagers are addicted to generative AI models — but their parents have no idea what their kids actually use them for. As part of a new study set to be presented at the IEEE Symposium on Security and Privacy, a team of researchers interviewed seven teenagers and thirteen parents about their AI usage and perceptions of the tech, and also analysed thousands of Reddit posts and comments from other teens. Their findings illustrate a stark disconnect between the two demographics. Overall, the parents seemed to be under the impression that their kids used AI chatbots mainly as a search engine or as a homework tool. In reality, the teenagers primarily said they used chatbots for therapeutic purposes or for emotional support. Our children are forming emotional connections with bots, machines, and AI. They trust them and look to them for guidance. However, the reality is that children’s brains are still developing in critical ways. During childhood and adolescence, the brain undergoes significant changes, especially in areas like emotional regulation, decision-making, and social understanding. These years are a time for building essential life skills—learning how to navigate relationships, process complex emotions, and establish trust with others. When children rely on AI or machines during this crucial developmental period, they may miss out on the richness and depth that real human interactions provide. Emotional growth requires empathy, shared experiences, and mutual understanding—qualities that no algorithm can replicate. The last thing they need is a machine stepping in where genuine, meaningful relationships should be, potentially stunting their ability to connect authentically with others in the future. In a world where artificial intelligence seems to touch every corner of our lives, it’s tempting to lean on technology for solutions—even when it comes to emotional and mental health. AI chatbots promise quick answers to complex problems, and apps claim to offer a “listening ear” for children. But as convenient as this sounds, the last thing a child needs is a machine stepping in where real relationships belong. As parents, we’re responsible for helping our children navigate a rapidly evolving digital landscape. A crucial part of that is teaching them that while AI can be helpful in certain contexts, it can’t replace human connection. Here’s how you can start that conversation and reinforce the importance of real relationships. 1. Explain the Limitations of AI Begin by discussing what AI is and what it can’t do. AI chatbots might seem friendly and empathetic, but they don’t truly understand emotions. They rely on patterns, pre-programmed responses, and algorithms—not human intuition, empathy, or shared experiences. You could say:“AI can provide facts or suggestions, but it doesn’t have feelings, and it doesn’t know you personally. It can’t really understand how you’re feeling the way a friend, parent, or teacher can.” 2. Highlight the Value of Human Connection Children need to understand that real relationships are about trust, shared experiences, and genuine care—qualities no machine can offer. Talk about how meaningful conversations with trusted adults or friends can provide comfort and solutions in a way AI never could. For example:“When you’re upset or confused, talking to someone who loves you and knows you is always better than a machine. People who care about you can ask questions, offer a hug, or just listen in a way that feels real and safe.” 3. Discuss the Risks of AI for Emotional Support Help your child understand why relying on AI for emotional support can be risky. These tools aren’t perfect—they can give incorrect advice, misunderstand the situation, or even store sensitive information in ways that compromise privacy. You might say:“When you share your feelings with an AI, it doesn’t stay private the way it would if you told a trusted person. It’s important to think about who or what we’re sharing personal things with.” 4. Encourage Open Communication at Home Create a safe space at home where your child feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings with you or another trusted adult. Reassure them that no problem is too small or too big to discuss. Let them know:“I’m always here to listen, no matter what. If you ever feel like you need advice or just someone to talk to, I want to be that person for you.” 5. Foster Friendships and Support Networks Encourage your child to build strong, real-world relationships with peers, teachers, coaches, or mentors. These connections provide the emotional support and validation AI can never replicate. You could suggest:“If something’s bothering you and you don’t feel like talking to me, it’s okay to reach out to a friend or an adult you trust. Real people can help in ways that technology just can’t.” 6. Model Healthy Technology Use Children learn by example. Show them that even adults set boundaries around technology and prioritise personal relationships. For instance, avoid turning to your phone for distraction during family time and actively engage in face-to-face conversations. Final Thoughts AI is a powerful tool, but it’s just that—a tool. It can’t replace the comfort of a parent’s arms, the advice of a caring teacher, or the shared laughter of a friend. By teaching your children to value and nurture human connections, you’re helping them build the emotional resilience they’ll need throughout life. In a world increasingly driven by machines, let’s remind our children of what truly matters: authentic relationships, trust, and the irreplaceable power of being seen and heard by another human being. This is where my professional Power Hours of 1-2-1 coaching come in: What Are Power Hours? My Power Hours are personalised, one-on-one sessions designed to provide practical, actionable guidance for families and organisations looking to thrive in the digital age. Whether you’re grappling with screen time limits, online safety, or fostering healthy digital habits, my expert insights will equip you with the tools you need to navigate these challenges confidently. Why Choose Power
‘Swiped: The School That Banned Smartphones.’ New Channel 4 documentary shows just how bad mobile phones are for YOUR children
Research from a new Channel 4documentary shows just how bad mobile phones can be for children in terms of their mood and sleep patterns. Matt and Emma Willis front Swiped on Channel 4 and they say the results of experiment with smartphones are ‘beyond worrying’ Two part series Swiped tackles the timely issue of the impact of smartphones on children’s behaviour. Hosts Matt and Emma Willis joined forces with The Stanway School in Colchester and challenge a group of Year 8 pupils – and themselves – to give up their smartphones completely for 21 days. This experiment, conducted in conjunction with The University of York, sees the 26 pupils undergo a series of tests with experts meticulously monitoring their behavioural changes over the 21 days, repeating the tests at the end of the three weeks to conclude what effects giving up your phone really does have on your brain including sleep and attention. 1000 pupils also surveyed about phone habits. The tests included a series of cognitive tasks, testing attention, reaction times and memory. Pupils also participated in questionnaires covering sleep, anxiety, depression, mood, stress, loneliness, enjoyment and social connectedness. The results are revealed in the second episode of the series and include: Show presenters Matt and Emma Willis said: “The statistics on children’s smartphone use are beyond worrying so the time feels absolutely right for the issue to be addressed. We really hope the results of the experiment can spark change and have a lasting and positive impact on everyone Posing as 13 year olds on TikTok with new phones, hosts Emma and Matt, were sent suicide content and violence against women within 4 hours of starting scrolling on a new account. Shocked Emma says in the programme: “It’s just not what I thought it would was. I know you hear stories about what can be found on there but finding and searching for something is very different from it being served to you the first time you go on there as a 13 year old.” Matt later says some of the things kids have access to on their phones is “terrifying”. Speaking within the programme, Dr Rangan Chatterjee said: “I think there’s no question at all, we’re giving children smartphones far too young. As a doctor I have seen time and time again that teenagers and adolescents have their mental health problems get significantly better when they cut out the smartphone. I think we as parents are going to have to help our children reset their relationship with technology. In terms of some common principles, I would suggest adopting screen-free mealtimes and no technology in bedrooms.” Watch the documentary with your kids here: https://www.channel4.com/programmes/swiped-the-school-that-banned-smartphones
Why Kids Need Parents, Not Pals, in the Digital Jungle
Kids Need Boundaries To Help Them Thrive in a Digital Jungle Screenagers: The Digital Dilemma. In today’s hyper-connected, fast-paced world, setting boundaries for kids is more essential than ever. The digital age offers countless learning opportunities and engaging entertainment, but it also brings challenges, especially when it comes to screen time and digital safety. By establishing boundaries, parents provide children with the tools to navigate this “digital jungle” and learn how to manage their online lives with self-discipline. Yet, an emerging trend among parents—trying to be their child’s friend rather than their authority figure—can inadvertently hinder this process, making life harder for the whole family. Boundaries not only create a sense of security but also instill essential skills for adulthood, like self-control, responsibility, and decision-making. Here’s why boundaries are necessary, particularly in managing technology, and how they support children’s long-term well-being. 1. Boundaries Teach Self-Discipline and Help Kids Develop a Sense of Responsibility When children understand limits—whether it’s on screen time, smartphone use, or bedtime—they begin to develop self-discipline, which will benefit them for the rest of their lives. Boundaries provide structure, showing children where to draw the line and how to balance various parts of their lives. For example, when parents set screen time limits, kids learn that they can enjoy online activities but also need time for physical play, social interactions, and family activities. This balance is essential in navigating the digital jungle. Without boundaries, many children would naturally spend hours on screens, from gaming to social media. Setting limits helps them practice moderation, gradually learning to regulate their own time and recognise when they’ve had enough. 2. Boundaries Create Security and Predictability Children thrive when they feel safe and know what to expect. A predictable structure allows kids to navigate the world with confidence. For example, having a “no phones at the dinner table” rule sends a clear message: family time is valued, and there’s a designated moment for in-person connection without digital distractions. Such boundaries extend to managing smartphone use, which can feel especially pressing for parents of teenagers. Setting a policy about smartphone ownership—like delaying the purchase until they reach a certain age or limiting their access to certain apps—can help children understand the benefits of delayed gratification. It also underscores the importance of balance, teaching kids that they don’t always need to be plugged in to feel fulfilled. 3. Boundaries Build Resilience by Teaching Children to Say “No” to Themselves Boundaries help children develop the resilience to resist impulsive behaviours, even when no one is watching. For instance, a child who is accustomed to having a screen time limit will learn that there are times to focus on other activities—even when it’s hard to pull themselves away from the screen. This resilience becomes crucial as children grow and face more complex challenges in the digital world. Whether it’s saying “no” to excessive social media scrolling, avoiding unsafe online interactions, or steering clear of risky content, learning to set personal limits early on prepares kids for responsible independence. The Dangers of “Friend First” Parenting: Why Kids Need a Parent, Not a Peer It’s natural to want to build a close, open relationship with your child. But there’s a difference between being approachable and sacrificing authority. When parents prioritise being their child’s friend over providing guidance, children lose out on essential learning moments that only come from a parent-child relationship. Without clear authority, children may feel less accountable to house rules, expecting more leniency than is beneficial. For instance, when it comes to saying “no” to smartphones or setting digital boundaries, children need a parent who can confidently make and enforce rules, even if it causes initial disappointment. Friend-first parenting can blur these lines, making it harder for parents to set necessary limits without feeling guilty or second-guessing themselves. Boundaries require consistency and clarity, traits that aren’t always compatible with a peer-like relationship. A parent who provides structure—while remaining compassionate and understanding—gives their child the best chance to develop emotional maturity and responsibility. Kids naturally & always push back on boundaries, testing limits as part of their growth and development. But it’s important for parents to establish firm, fair & consistent boundaries, as this guidance helps children feel secure and teaches them self-discipline and respect for limits. Meanwhile, as kids continue to do their part, parents are finding it increasingly difficult to fulfill theirs—leading to an off-balance family dynamic which is impacting everyone’s mental health. Helping Kids “Navigate the Digital Jungle” by Saying “No” to Too Much Screen Time Our “digital jungle” is filled with distractions, temptations, and even dangers. As children grow, they will inevitably encounter challenges online, from cyberbullying and harmful content to excessive use of apps designed to be addictive. Teaching kids to navigate this digital landscape requires more than simply teaching them to avoid dangers—it’s about setting a foundation for healthy digital habits that will last a lifetime. Saying “no” to unrestricted smartphone use, for instance, might be one of the most valuable lessons parents can offer. Holding off on smartphone ownership until an appropriate age, or setting limits on apps and time spent online, helps children view technology as a tool rather than a source of constant entertainment. When parents set limits on screens early, they teach children to prioritize other activities, discover offline hobbies, and build strong, real-world connections. This proactive approach encourages kids to build meaningful lives outside of their devices, creating a healthier relationship with technology as they grow. Setting Boundaries: How to Begin If you’re struggling to establish boundaries with your child, start with these basic steps: Start Small and Be Consistent: Begin by setting simple, manageable rules—like a bedtime routine or a device-free dinner. Consistency is key, as children feel more secure when they understand what’s expected of them. Model Good Behaviour: Show your child that boundaries apply to everyone. Practice putting away your own smartphone at dinner or during family time, demonstrating that boundaries aren’t just for kids. Explain the “Why”: Whenever possible, help children understand why
How Screen Time Affects Toddlers’ Ability to Learn to Talk
New Study Reveals Screen Time’s Impact on Toddlers’ Language Development: Fewer Words, Fewer Conversations A groundbreaking study has uncovered that for every minute of screen time toddlers are exposed to at home, they hear significantly fewer adult words, make fewer vocalizations, and engage in fewer back-and-forth conversations with their parents. These findings shed new light on the critical relationship between technology use and early language development in children. Led by Dr. Mary Brushe, Senior Research Officer at The Kids Research Institute Australia, the study tracked 220 Australian families over a two-and-a-half-year period to explore the effects of family screen use on toddlers’ language environments. This first-of-its-kind research, conducted as part of Dr. Brushe’s PhD with the University of Adelaide, provides important insights into how excessive screen time can interfere with critical developmental milestones in young children. Using cutting-edge, Fitbit-like devices, researchers monitored the amount of electronic noise and parent-child communication surrounding children aged 12 to 36 months. This included tracking sounds generated by screens being used by both parents and children, allowing researchers to gather precise data on how technology influences early speech and language development. In total, more than 7,000 hours of audio were analyzed to determine how much screen time toddlers were exposed to versus other types of electronic noise in their environment. The results were clear: the more screen time toddlers experienced, the fewer opportunities they had for meaningful interactions with their caregivers—interactions that are vital for learning to talk. “We set out to understand how screen time impacts children during the early years when language development is most critical. This study shows that screen exposure may be hindering the amount of language these toddlers hear and engage with in their homes,” said Dr. Brushe. The findings, published in The Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) Pediatrics, highlight the concerning effects of what researchers call ‘technoference.’ Technoference refers to the way in which technology, particularly screen use, disrupts parent-child interactions, creating fewer opportunities for verbal exchanges that foster language development. The impact of screen time was most pronounced in children around 36 months of age. According to the study, just one minute of screen time led to a reduction of seven adult words, five fewer child vocalizations, and one less conversational turn. For toddlers exposed to one hour of screen time each day, this amounts to missing out on roughly 397 adult words, 294 child vocalizations, and 68 conversation turns every single day. Disturbingly, the average screen time for toddlers in the study at 36 months was 172 minutes per day—nearly three hours. This means these children could be missing out on an estimated 1,139 adult words, 843 vocalizations, and 194 conversational turns per day. The implications for their language development are profound. Dr. Brushe emphasized that these figures may actually underestimate the problem, as they do not account for silent screen activities by parents, such as texting, checking emails, or scrolling through social media. “If anything, we’ve probably underestimated how much screen usage—and the associated technoference—is happening around young children,” she added. The study underscores the importance of reducing screen time, not just for toddlers but for parents as well, to ensure that children are exposed to rich language experiences in their early years. Numerous studies, including this one, have shown that early language development is directly linked to future academic success, social skills, and cognitive abilities. What Can Parents Do? Parents can take simple but effective steps to limit screen time and foster language development in their toddlers: The study, a collaboration between the University of Adelaide, the University of Oxford, and the Menzies Health Institute at Griffith University, offers a timely reminder that screen time should be carefully managed during a child’s early years to prevent it from replacing essential opportunities for language development. You can read the full study in JAMA Pediatrics.
The Importance of Critical Thinking for Children: Helpful Tips for Parents
The Importance of Critical Thinking for Children In today’s fast-paced, information-rich world, critical thinking has become an essential skill for children. It empowers them to analyse information, make informed decisions, and develop a deeper understanding of complex issues. As parents, nurturing critical thinking in our children can help them navigate the digital landscape and become responsible, independent thinkers. Here’s why critical thinking is important and how you can encourage it at home. Why Critical Thinking Matters Navigating Information: With the internet overflowing with information, children must learn to discern credible sources from unreliable ones. Critical thinking equips them with the tools to evaluate the validity of what they encounter online. Problem-Solving Skills: Life is filled with challenges, and critical thinking enables children to approach problems logically and creatively. This skill helps them devise solutions rather than relying on others to solve their problems. Decision Making: Critical thinkers weigh options and consider consequences before making decisions. This skill is crucial for everything from choosing friends to managing time effectively. Empathy and Understanding: Critical thinking fosters empathy, allowing children to understand different perspectives and make informed judgments about social issues. Preparation for the Future: As the world evolves, so do the demands of the workplace. Critical thinking is a sought-after skill in nearly every profession, making it vital for your child’s future success. Tips for Encouraging Critical Thinking at Home Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage your child to think deeply by asking questions that require more than a yes or no answer. For example, instead of asking, “Did you like the film?” try, “What did you think about the main character’s choices?” Encourage Curiosity: Foster an environment where questions are welcomed. When your child asks “why,” take the time to explore the topic together. This encourages them to seek answers rather than simply accepting information. Discuss Current Events: Talk about news stories or events happening around the world. Ask your child what they think about these events and encourage them to express their opinions. Promote Problem-Solving Activities: Engage your child in activities that require them to think critically, such as puzzles, games, or science experiments. These activities promote analytical thinking and decision-making. Model Critical Thinking: Demonstrate how you approach problems and make decisions. Share your thought processes with your child, showing them how to evaluate options and consider different viewpoints. Scripts to Help Your Child Think Critically Here are some practical scripts you can use to foster critical thinking during everyday conversations: When Discussing Choices: When Engaging with Media: During Homework or Projects: When Discussing Relationships: When Exploring Interests: Encouraging critical thinking in your children is a gift that will serve them throughout their lives. By fostering curiosity, engaging in meaningful conversations, and providing opportunities for analysis and reflection, you help equip them with the skills they need to navigate a complex world. Remember, it’s not just about finding the right answer; it’s about understanding the process of thinking critically. By implementing these tips and scripts, you can create a nurturing environment that promotes lifelong learning and responsible decision-making.
