Fake Birthdays, Real Risks: How Kids Bypass Social Media Rules

‘It’s SO easy to lie’ A number of tech firms have recently announced measures to make social media safer for young people, such as Instagram launching “teen accounts.” However, when BBC news spoke to a group of teenagers at Rosshall Academy, in Glasgow, all of them said they used adult ages for their social media accounts “It’s just so easy to lie about your age”, said Myley, 15. “I put in my actual birthday – like day and month – but when it gets to the year, I’ll just scroll ten years back,” she added. “There’s no verification, they don’t ask for ID, they don’t ask for anything,” added another pupil, Haniya, who is also 15. BBC News was also unchallenged when it set up accounts, using newly created email addresses, on a number of major platforms. A user age over 18 was entered without any proof being requested. Ofcom says this will have to change in the coming months. “Self-declaration of a child’s age is clearly completely insufficient,” said Mr Mccrae. Protecting kids online when they lie about their age requires a multi-faceted approach involving parents, tech companies, educators, and policymakers. Here are some practical strategies: For Parents: Open Conversations: Regularly discuss why platforms have age limits and the potential risks of accessing inappropriate content or interacting with strangers.   Monitor and Guide: Use parental controls and monitoring software, but balance oversight with trust. Tools like Bark, Canopy, or Qustodio can flag potential risks.   Digital Contracts: Create a family agreement on internet use that includes honesty about age and platform rules. Download my Navigating the Digital Jungle Family Technology Contracts with Scripts.   Model Good Behaviour: Show children how to navigate online spaces responsibly. Avoid misrepresenting your own information online, as kids may mimic behavior. Delay Access: Encourage delaying social media and mature apps until they’re genuinely ready. Alternatives like Xplora watches for younger kids can help meet social needs safely. Download my free guide to delaying smartphones   For Tech Companies: Age Verification: Implement stronger age-verification processes, such as AI that estimates age via facial recognition or ID verification (with parental consent). Child-Appropriate Features: Develop child-friendly versions of platforms, like YouTube Kids or Messenger Kids, that limit content and interactions. Proactive Moderation: Increase AI and human moderators to identify underage users and flag suspicious behaviour. Transparency Reports: Platforms should share data on how they enforce age restrictions and handle breaches.   For Schools and Educators: Digital Literacy Education: Teach children about the consequences of lying online and the importance of being truthful. Example Lesson:  Role-playing scenarios where children see both the risks of lying and the benefits of honesty. Peer Advocacy: Encourage older students to mentor younger ones on safe and responsible online behaviour.   For Policymakers: Stronger Regulations: Governments can mandate stricter age verification processes for platforms and hold them accountable for enforcement. Support for Parents: Provide resources or subsidies for parental controls and digital literacy programs. Educational Campaigns: Launch national campaigns to educate families on the dangers of children lying about their age online.   Empowering Kids to Be Honest: When children understand why age-appropriate content and interactions matter, they’re more likely to make safer choices. Empower them with the tools to be truthful and transparent, while ensuring they know they can come to you if something goes wrong. Here’s a script for parents to start a conversation about lying about age online and its consequences. This can also be part of a guide for families navigating online safety. Digital Dialogue Script: Honesty About Age Online Opening the Conversation Parent:“I wanted to talk about something important today—how we use the internet and apps, especially when they ask for your age. Have you ever seen or heard about people lying about their age to use an app or a website?” (Pause and let them respond. This opens up dialogue without judgment.) Understanding Their Perspective Parent:“I get it—sometimes it feels unfair that certain apps or games are for older kids, and you might feel left out if you don’t have access. But do you know why these platforms have age limits?” (Explain age limits in simple terms depending on their age.) For younger kids:
”These rules are there to keep you safe and make sure you’re not seeing things you’re not ready for.” For older kids:
”Platforms set these limits to protect privacy, keep you from seeing harmful content, or prevent people from messaging you inappropriately.” Sharing Real-Life Risks Parent: “When someone lies about their age online, it can cause problems they might not expect. For example: They might see things that are upsetting or scary. It makes it easier for strangers to trick them into sharing private information. It can even get them into trouble because the platform’s rules weren’t followed.” (Use examples like cyberbullying, scams, or inappropriate content, but keep the tone calm.) Exploring Their Feelings Parent: “How do you feel about age limits now? Does it seem unfair, or do you think it makes sense? Have you ever been tempted to lie about your age online? You can be honest—I’m here to listen, not to judge.” (Encourage openness and validate their feelings, even if you disagree.) Empowering Them to Make Safe Choices Parent: “I trust you to make good decisions online, but let’s work together to find safe ways for you to use the internet. For example: If there’s an app you really want to try, let’s talk about it first. Maybe we can use it together or find something similar made for your age. If you ever feel left out because your friends are on apps you can’t use yet, let me know. I want to help you feel included in other ways.” Setting Clear Expectations Parent:“Let’s agree on a family rule: We’ll always tell the truth about our age online. If a website or app isn’t meant for your age, we’ll find alternatives until you’re ready. How does that sound?” (Collaboratively create a rule to ensure buy-in.) Ending Positively Parent: “I’m really proud of you for talking with