‘It’s SO easy to lie’
A number of tech firms have recently announced measures to make social media safer for young people, such as Instagram launching “teen accounts.”
However, when BBC news spoke to a group of teenagers at Rosshall Academy, in Glasgow, all of them said they used adult ages for their social media accounts
“It’s just so easy to lie about your age”, said Myley, 15.
“I put in my actual birthday – like day and month – but when it gets to the year, I’ll just scroll ten years back,” she added.
“There’s no verification, they don’t ask for ID, they don’t ask for anything,” added another pupil, Haniya, who is also 15.
BBC News was also unchallenged when it set up accounts, using newly created email addresses, on a number of major platforms.
A user age over 18 was entered without any proof being requested.
Ofcom says this will have to change in the coming months.
“Self-declaration of a child’s age is clearly completely insufficient,” said Mr Mccrae.
Protecting kids online when they lie about their age requires a multi-faceted approach involving parents, tech companies, educators, and policymakers. Here are some practical strategies:
Open Conversations:
Regularly discuss why platforms have age limits and the potential risks of accessing inappropriate content or interacting with strangers.
Monitor and Guide:
Use parental controls and monitoring software, but balance oversight with trust. Tools like Bark, Canopy, or Qustodio can flag potential risks.
Digital Contracts:
Create a family agreement on internet use that includes honesty about age and platform rules.
Download my Navigating the Digital Jungle Family Technology Contracts with Scripts.
Model Good Behaviour:
Show children how to navigate online spaces responsibly. Avoid misrepresenting your own information online, as kids may mimic behavior.
Delay Access:
Encourage delaying social media and mature apps until they’re genuinely ready. Alternatives like Xplora watches for younger kids can help meet social needs safely.
Download my free guide to delaying smartphones
Age Verification:
Implement stronger age-verification processes, such as AI that estimates age via facial recognition or ID verification (with parental consent).
Child-Appropriate Features:
Develop child-friendly versions of platforms, like YouTube Kids or Messenger Kids, that limit content and interactions.
Proactive Moderation:
Increase AI and human moderators to identify underage users and flag suspicious behaviour.
Transparency Reports:
Platforms should share data on how they enforce age restrictions and handle breaches.
Digital Literacy Education:
Teach children about the consequences of lying online and the importance of being truthful.
Example Lesson:
Role-playing scenarios where children see both the risks of lying and the benefits of honesty.
Peer Advocacy:
Encourage older students to mentor younger ones on safe and responsible online behaviour.
Stronger Regulations:
Governments can mandate stricter age verification processes for platforms and hold them accountable for enforcement.
Support for Parents:
Provide resources or subsidies for parental controls and digital literacy programs.
Educational Campaigns:
Launch national campaigns to educate families on the dangers of children lying about their age online.
When children understand why age-appropriate content and interactions matter, they’re more likely to make safer choices. Empower them with the tools to be truthful and transparent, while ensuring they know they can come to you if something goes wrong.
Here’s a script for parents to start a conversation about lying about age online and its consequences. This can also be part of a guide for families navigating online safety.
Opening the Conversation
Parent:“I wanted to talk about something important today—how we use the internet and apps, especially when they ask for your age. Have you ever seen or heard about people lying about their age to use an app or a website?”
(Pause and let them respond. This opens up dialogue without judgment.)
Parent:“I get it—sometimes it feels unfair that certain apps or games are for older kids, and you might feel left out if you don’t have access. But do you know why these platforms have age limits?”
(Explain age limits in simple terms depending on their age.)
For younger kids: ”These rules are there to keep you safe and make sure you’re not seeing things you’re not ready for.”
For older kids: ”Platforms set these limits to protect privacy, keep you from seeing harmful content, or prevent people from messaging you inappropriately.”
Parent: “When someone lies about their age online, it can cause problems they might not expect. For example:
They might see things that are upsetting or scary.
It makes it easier for strangers to trick them into sharing private information.
It can even get them into trouble because the platform’s rules weren’t followed.”
(Use examples like cyberbullying, scams, or inappropriate content, but keep the tone calm.)
Parent: “How do you feel about age limits now? Does it seem unfair, or do you think it makes sense? Have you ever been tempted to lie about your age online? You can be honest—I’m here to listen, not to judge.”
(Encourage openness and validate their feelings, even if you disagree.)
Parent: “I trust you to make good decisions online, but let’s work together to find safe ways for you to use the internet. For example:
If there’s an app you really want to try, let’s talk about it first. Maybe we can use it together or find something similar made for your age.
If you ever feel left out because your friends are on apps you can’t use yet, let me know. I want to help you feel included in other ways.”
Parent:“Let’s agree on a family rule: We’ll always tell the truth about our age online. If a website or app isn’t meant for your age, we’ll find alternatives until you’re ready. How does that sound?”
(Collaboratively create a rule to ensure buy-in.)
Parent: “I’m really proud of you for talking with me about this. I know it’s not always easy. Remember, I’m always here if you see or experience something online that doesn’t feel right.”
(Hug or give positive reinforcement to end on a supportive note.)
Family Challenge:
Spend a week exploring apps and games that are age-appropriate together.
Alternatives List:
Provide a list of safer, parent-approved apps for kids.
Downloadable Family Contract Idea
Include a clause in a Family Tech Agreement like:
“We promise to be honest about our age on all apps and websites.”
“If we’re not sure whether something is safe, we’ll ask a parent or trusted adult.”
Despite Big Tech paying lip service to a Duty of Care – I personally wouldn’t hold my breath waiting for them to protect your kids!
Navigating the Digital Jungle 7 Day Digital Detox with Scripts.
Navigating the Digital Jungle Screen Time Tracker + Screen Free Activities with Scripts.
This guide is packed with practical tips and conversation starters to help you confidently set healthy boundaries and create an environment where your child can thrive without the constant buzz of technology.
Research shows that delaying access to smartphones can:
🎁 Download My Free Guide: “How to Say ‘No’ to Smartphones Until Age 14”
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