I was sent in this great question from an attendee on my recent Behind the Selfie: Girls, Social Media, and Self-Esteem Struggles Power Hour Webinar
Why does social media seem to affect girls more than boys, I’m aware that there are wider issues in society that contribute but I’m curious to learn more, and what can we do for younger girls of primary school age to help foster a positive self-image?
This is such an important question and it’s great that this parent is looking at both the impact of social media and the wider societal context.
Here’s a breakdown of why social media often affects girls more than boys, and what we can do to support younger girls in primary school:
Why social media affects girls more than boys:
- Appearance-focused platforms
Platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat are highly visual and often prioritise looks, beauty, and trends. Girls are more likely to be targeted by — and engage with — appearance-based content. This increases comparison, especially with idealised or filtered versions of others. - Cultural and societal pressures
From a young age, girls are more likely to internalise the message that their value is tied to how they look. Social media magnifies this with “likes” and comments acting as a kind of public scorecard. - More relational and socially attuned
Psychologically, girls often place more value on relationships and peer approval. This makes them more vulnerable to online exclusion, cyberbullying, or anxiety around likes, follows, or being left out of group chats. - Perfectionism and people-pleasing
Many girls — especially high-achievers — feel pressure to “do it all” and “look perfect” doing it. Social media can create impossible standards of beauty, lifestyle, and behaviour. - Body image concerns start earlier
Research shows that body dissatisfaction can begin as early as age 5 or 6, especially when girls are exposed to appearance-focused media.
What we can do for younger girls (primary school age):
Start early with body-positive messages
Focus on what bodies can do rather than what they look like. Celebrate strength, movement, creativity, and kindness. Avoid making appearance-related comments, even positive ones, the main focus of praise.
Model self-compassion and media literacy
Be aware of how you speak about your own body or other people’s appearance around children. Talk about how images online are often filtered or staged — and not always real life.
Praise effort and character over looks
Compliment qualities like bravery, curiosity, helpfulness, resilience, or creativity — not just cuteness or prettiness.
Diverse books, toys, and role models
Surround them with stories and images that show girls as scientists, adventurers, artists, and athletes. Representation matters.
Digital delay where possible
Delay the introduction of platforms that are heavy on appearance and peer feedback. Focus instead on creative, collaborative, or curiosity-based digital experiences.
Encourage offline hobbies and passions
Help girls find joy in sports, art, drama, reading, nature — things that build confidence and identity outside of screens.
Create a space for open conversation
Ask how they feel about what they see online. Validate their emotions and help them think critically about social media.
Equip them with phrases like:
“That’s not real life,”
“My worth isn’t measured in likes,” or
“I’m enough just as I am.”
Raising girls in a digital world comes with unique challenges — but also powerful opportunities. By staying curious, setting thoughtful boundaries, and nurturing confidence early on, we can help our daughters grow up feeling seen, valued, and strong in who they are — both online and off.
Remember, you don’t have to be perfect — just present. And every little conversation, limit, and moment of connection adds up.
Let’s keep championing balance, self-worth, and empathy — one small step (and scroll) at a time.
