Group Chats, Ghosting & Screenshots — A Preteen Soap Opera
Welcome to the Digital Jungle Dilemmas — Your Support for Parenting in a Screen-Filled World!
Parenting today often feels like posting live from the middle of a digital jungle — full of unexpected twists, noisy notifications, and the challenge of keeping up with every screen time battle, group chat drama, and online dilemma.
You’re not alone.
Here, you’ll find a safe space for honest advice, practical tips, and a little empathy for those messy, complicated moments when parenting meets technology. Whether you’re wrestling with digital dramas, wondering when to step in, or just trying to find balance in the noise, I’m here to guide you — one post, one question, and one small win at a time.
So, pull up a seat, share your stories, and let’s navigate this digital jungle together.
Sue
Dear Sue,
Help! My daughter is 12 and completely entangled in a WhatsApp group chat drama worthy of a Netflix series. One minute her best friend is calling her “slay queen,” the next she’s been removed from the group for “being annoying.” There are screenshots, secret spin-off chats, and enough ghosting to terrify the most seasoned of exorcists. I thought Year 6 was for spelling tests and crushes on boy bands — not digital diplomacy and emotional warfare.
— Distressed Mum, Devon
Dear Distressed Mum,
Ah, welcome to Preteen Group Chat Land — population: hormones, emojis, and misunderstandings.
These digital mini-dramas are the EastEnders of modern tween life. And you’re not alone — group chats can be lovely little lifelines or emotional minefields, depending on the hour, the child, and whether someone used the wrong GIF.
Let’s break this soap opera down, shall we?
🎭 Episode 1: “Added. Removed. Re-Added.”
Group chats feel like social glue for tweens — a place to bond, share memes, and moan about homework. But with one tap, a child can be added… or dramatically booted out. This creates a confusing power dynamic that most preteens are not emotionally equipped to handle.
What to Say:
“Ouch, being removed must feel really hurtful. I’m here if you want to talk about it, or we can figure out how to handle it together.”
Avoid the “Just ignore it” trap — for a preteen, being kicked out feels like social exile.
👻 Episode 2: Ghosting — Tween Edition
Ghosting isn’t just for dating apps. In tween world, it’s suddenly going quiet in the chat while your child’s message goes unanswered — but everyone is still online, still posting memes, still laughing… just not at them.
What to Say:
“When people stop replying, it’s easy to think they’re angry or ignoring you. But sometimes they’re just busy, distracted, or being… 12.”
Teach your child the golden rule of digital interpretation: Silence doesn’t always mean shade.
📸 Episode 3: Screenshots: The Double-Edged Sword
Ah yes — the “he said, she said” with digital receipts. Kids are learning to weaponise screenshots like tiny gossip journalists. Often it’s to “prove” who said what — but sometimes it becomes a tool for embarrassment or exclusion.
What to Say:
“Before you screenshot someone else’s message, ask: would I want someone doing that to me?”
And of course:
“Never say anything online you wouldn’t want screenshot and read by your nan.”
🧠 Sue’s Soap Opera Survival Tips for Parents
- Don’t ban, guide.
A total phone lockdown might feel satisfying in the moment, but it won’t teach resilience or communication skills. Your child needs guidance, not exile from the group chat universe. - Encourage a ‘cool off’ pause.
Teach them to step back before replying when emotions run high. Rage-texting rarely ends well — and tends to live on forever via screenshot. - Keep perspective.
Remind them that digital friendship drama feels huge now, but it’s a snapshot — not the whole story. It will blow over (usually in 48 hours or when someone shares a funny dog video). - Talk about intent.
“Do you think she meant to hurt you?” Often, messages are misread — especially with no tone, no body language, and 12-year-olds who think “🙄” is a subtle response. - Set ‘chat-free’ times.
Help them take healthy breaks — like during homework, mealtimes, or late at night. Tween brains need space to reset, just like their phones do.
💬 Quick Scripts for Kids (Because They Never Know What to Say)
- When ghosted: “Hey, just checking in — hope everything’s okay.”
- When hurt: “That message upset me. Can we talk about it?”
- When overwhelmed: “I need a break from the chat — I’ll be back later.”
- When apologising (because they will need to): “I’m sorry for what I said earlier. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
🛑 And Finally: When to Step In
If there’s bullying, exclusion, threats, or a pattern of unkindness, don’t hesitate to step in — not to fight their battles, but to support, alert the school if needed, and equip them with tools to navigate the digital jungle.
Group chats aren’t going anywhere. But with your support, your preteen can learn to swing through the drama with kindness, humour, and a block button when necessary.
Sue 🐒📱
Your trusted guide for navigating the digital jungle
