Stop, Think, Tell: Helping Autistic Children Make Safer Choices Online

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When we think about online safety, the first advice that usually comes to mind is “Don’t talk to strangers” or “Don’t share personal details.” But there’s another side of digital safety that’s just as important, and often overlooked: the content children are choosing to watch.

More and more young people are stumbling across — or actively seeking out — videos, games, and images that are simply not appropriate for their age. This might be violent gaming streams, frightening clips, or even sexual content. While children may not always understand why something is harmful, they often feel the effects — in their emotions, behaviour, and even sleep.

Parents and professionals are asking: How do we teach children to make safer choices about what they watch, not just who they talk to?

In this blog, I’ll share practical activities you can use with children and parents together to build awareness, resilience, and better habits around online content. And because every child is different, I’ll also include specific ideas to support autistic children, who may need clearer rules, visual prompts, and structured routines to feel secure online.

With a Child

Traffic Light Activity (Red, Amber, Green)

1. Print/cut out red, amber, and green circles.
2. Together, sort different examples of online content (you can use images or scenarios you describe) into:
   • Green (safe & fun): cartoons, games for kids, music, educational clips.
   • Amber (unsure/mixed): some YouTubers, gaming videos, prank videos.
   • Red (unsafe/unhelpful): violent clips, scary videos, pornography, hateful content.
3. Discuss why each belongs there.
4. This gives them a visual “stop and think” model.

Feelings Check-In

1. Ask: “How does this video make you feel in your tummy/head/heart?”
2. Help them notice if content makes them feel happy, inspired, calm (green) vs. worried, yucky, scared, or confused (red).
3. Teach them that if it doesn’t feel good, it’s a sign to switch it off.

Superhero Choices Game

1. Create a role-play where they are a superhero making good choices online.
2. Example: “You’re watching cartoons and something pops up that looks scary. Do you (a) hide it, (b) tell Mum/Dad, (c) keep watching?”
3. Reinforce the idea of telling an adult and choosing the healthy option.

With Parents

Family Media Agreement

1. Create a simple poster together with the child:
   • “We watch things that make us feel good.”
   • “We turn off things that make us feel bad.”
   • “We ask before clicking on new things.”
2. Put it up somewhere visible as a shared reminder.

Navigating the Digital Jungle Family Technology Contracts with Scripts.

Co-Viewing & Commenting

1. Encourage parents to watch some of their child’s favourite shows with them and talk about what’s happening.
2. Questions like: “What do you like about this video? Do you think it’s real or made-up? How would you feel if this happened in real life?”

Safe Choices Role Modelling

1. Parents can show their own decision-making out loud:
   • “This video popped up for me, but it looks nasty. I’m going to scroll past — I don’t want that in my head.”
2. This normalises filtering and self-regulation.

Helpful Frameworks

• PEGI & BBFC ratings (games and films) can be explained to children as a “ready-made traffic light system”.
• Digital Wellbeing Tools (like YouTube Kids settings, Disney+, Netflix Kids profiles) can help parents make age-appropriate options the default.

The key message is: “Not everything online is made for children. If it feels wrong or makes you feel bad, stop and tell an adult.”

This shifts the focus from just stranger-danger to content literacy and emotional awareness.

With A Child (Autism-friendly adaptations)

Visual Traffic Light Sorting

1. Instead of abstract discussion, use pictures/icons for different types of content (cartoons, animals, horror images, fighting games, pornography blurred icons, etc.).
2. Use laminated cards they can physically sort into Red / Amber / Green boxes.
3. Reinforce with simple rules written or symbolised ( safe,  check,  stop).

Feelings Matching

1. Autistic children may find it harder to interpret or express emotions.
2. Use emoji cards, colour zones, or feelings thermometers.
3. Example: Show an emoji     and ask: “Which one matches how this video might make you feel?”
4. Link it directly to behaviour: “If you feel  or  → stop & tell Mum/Dad.”

Clear Social Stories

1. Create a short personalised story (with pictures) explaining:
   • “Sometimes videos are made for adults, not children.
   • These can make me feel upset or scared.
   • If I see one, I can stop, close the iPad, and tell my parent.
   • My parent will help me.”
2. Social stories give predictability and clear rules.

Superhero Choices with Visual Prompts

1. Role-play is great, but keep choices very literal and structured.
2. Provide cards to hold up for each choice (“STOP” card, “ASK” card, “KEEP WATCHING” card).
3. Physically practice holding up the “STOP” card when something inappropriate appears.

 

With Parents (Autism-specific tips)

Predictability & Routines

• Many autistic children thrive with set routines.
• Parents could create a “safe time and place” schedule:
  • e.g. “I watch TV shows 5–6pm in the living room with Mum” or “I use iPad 20 minutes after homework.”
• This reduces unsupervised wandering into unsafe content.

Clear Visual Rules Poster

1. Instead of vague rules (“watch things that make us feel good”), use direct symbols:
   •  Allowed: cartoons, Peppa Pig, Minecraft
   •  Not Allowed: fighting, scary, rude words, naked people
2. This avoids grey areas.

Parental Role-Modelling with Explicit Commentary

1. For autistic children, implicit modelling may not be enough.
2. Parents can say clearly:
   • “This video is too violent. I don’t like how it makes me feel. I’m going to turn it off.”
3. Repeat consistently so the child hears the “why” every time.

Reward Safe Choices

1. Autistic children often respond well to positive reinforcement systems.
2. Create a reward chart for “safe watching choices” (e.g. stickers, tokens, praise).
3. Celebrate when they come to a parent after seeing something they shouldn’t.

Extra Supports

• Safe Platforms Only: Recommend strongly using YouTube Kids, BBC iPlayer Kids, Netflix Kids profile rather than the open internet. This narrows risk.
• Special Interests: Incorporate their favourite interests into discussions (e.g. “If Thomas the Tank Engine is green content, what would a red content video about trains look like?”).
• Sensory Awareness: Some autistic children may get overwhelmed by fast, loud, or graphic content even if it’s technically “age-appropriate.” Parents can check in: “Was that too loud/bright/scary?”

To Sum Up

Helping children make safe choices online isn’t just about blocking strangers or setting parental controls — it’s about teaching them to recognise what feels right, what feels wrong, and what to do next. The simple message of “Stop, Think, Tell” gives children a practical tool they can use in any situation, while parents can model good habits and create a supportive environment at home.

For autistic children, visuals, routines, and rewards make this guidance even more effective, giving them the clarity and consistency they need to feel secure. With the right tools, all children can learn to pause, reflect, and reach out when something doesn’t feel okay online.

By weaving these lessons into family life, we’re not just protecting children from inappropriate content — we’re helping them build digital resilience, confidence, and lifelong skills for navigating the ever-changing digital jungle.