In an age where public discourse often feels more combative than constructive, teaching children to navigate disagreements with respect and empathy is an essential life skill.
Inspired by ‘I Respectfully Disagree: How to Have Difficult Conversations in a Divided World ’ by Justin Jones-Fosu I began pondering ‘Pillars for Parents’ and how parents can equip their children & young teens with tools to understand, discuss, and bridge divides—both online and in person.
I’m a fan of podcasts & I drew inspiration from public figures like Alastair Campbell and Rory Stewart, co-hosts of the popular podcast The Rest Is Politics.
Despite their contrasting political backgrounds – Campbell as a Labour strategist and Stewart as a former Conservative MP – they demonstrate how to engage in meaningful debates with respect, curiosity, and humour. Their approach underscores that disagreement, doesn’t have to mean division, rudeness, hateful anger or mean spiritedness, a lesson that resonates surely for families raising children in these polarised times.
As parents, carers, grandparents, & educators we can, and need to, raise thoughtful, open-minded kids capable of thriving in divisive times
In today’s polarised world, teaching children how to navigate disagreements with respect and empathy has never been more critical. Inspired by I Respectfully Disagree this post explores practical tools parents can use to raise thoughtful, open-minded kids capable of thriving in divisive times that I hope you find helpful & thought provoking
1. Model Respectful Disagreement
Children learn by example. As parents, it’s vital to demonstrate how to disagree without being disagreeable. Use calm, respectful language when discussing differences of opinion, whether with your child or others.
Show them that listening to understand—not to respond—fosters meaningful dialogue.
Tip: When discussing a contentious issue, use phrases like, “I see your point, but I feel differently because…” to highlight mutual respect while expressing your views.
2. Teach the Art of Listening
Listening is a foundational skill for respectful dialogue. Encourage your child to actively listen by asking clarifying questions and paraphrasing what they hear. This helps them appreciate perspectives different from their own.
Activity: Practice role-playing at home. Have your child pretend to listen to someone with a different view, then summarise what the other person said before responding.
3. Introduce Tools for Critical Thinking
Equip your child with the ability to question information and form their own opinions. Encourage them to consider sources, biases, and context when encountering new ideas, especially on social media or in school debates.
Tool: Use a simple framework like the “3 Ws”:
- Who is sharing this?
- Why are they sharing it?
- What evidence supports it?
4. Build Empathy Through Stories
Books, films, and real-life anecdotes can help children see the world through others’ eyes. Empathy fosters understanding and reduces the tendency to react defensively during disagreements.
Example: Discuss characters in a story who face conflicts. Ask, “Why do you think they feel this way? What would you do in their shoes?”
5. Foster a Safe Space for Dialogue
Create an environment where your child feels comfortable sharing their thoughts without fear of judgment. Open conversations about current events, family values, and peer influences are essential.
Strategy: Use family dinners or dedicated tech-free evenings to explore topics in a relaxed setting. Encourage open-ended questions like, “What do you think about…?” or “How would you handle…?”
6. Teach Conflict Resolution Skills
Help children understand that disagreements don’t have to escalate into arguments. Teach them techniques like taking a deep breath, pausing before speaking, and finding common ground.
Game: Practice “I statements.” For example, “I feel upset when…” instead of accusatory language like “You always…”
7. Set Boundaries Around Social Media
Social media can amplify divisiveness. Teach your child to approach online interactions with caution and kindness. Emphasise the importance of taking breaks, avoiding echo chambers, and not engaging in heated online debates.
Tip: Discuss real-world examples of how miscommunication online can lead to conflicts. Encourage your child to approach digital disagreements as thoughtfully as in-person ones.
8. Encourage Action Over Argument
Empower children to channel their beliefs into positive action. Whether it’s joining a cause, volunteering, or starting a community project, doing something constructive helps shift the focus from debating to making a difference.
Example: If your child feels strongly about environmental issues, help them organise a recycling drive or a local cleanup day.
Final Thoughts
Raising children who can respectfully disagree equips them to navigate a world filled with differing opinions. By modelling empathy, teaching critical thinking, and fostering safe spaces for dialogue, parents lay the groundwork for a generation of thoughtful, compassionate individuals who can bridge divides with understanding and respect.
As I Respectfully Disagree reminds us, the goal isn’t to avoid disagreement but to approach it as an opportunity for growth, learning, and connection. With these pillars in place, you can guide your children to thrive in even the most divisive times.