Addicted to Screens, Rushed into Love: The Smartphone Dilemma for Parents of Teens

I was 15 when I first fell in love. I sat on the hand accidentally of Tom in ‘The Cat’s Whisker’s’ in Streatham watching Tina Charles sing her UK no. 1 hit “I Love to Love (But My Baby Loves to Dance)” in 1976. It was a friendship that lasted 30 years. When I was 15 and in love, relationships felt simpler and slower. Love notes were carefully handwritten, phone calls were cherished moments, and meeting up in person was the highlight of any day. There was a thrill in waiting—waiting for a reply, waiting to see someone, and waiting to truly connect. Today, love moves at the speed of a text. Smartphones have brought constant communication, instant gratification, and, sometimes, an overwhelming sense of urgency. The mystery and anticipation that once defined young love have been replaced by emojis, DMs, and the pressure of constant availability. While technology has its benefits, it has undoubtedly changed the pace, depth, and experience of falling in love. Parents often come to me feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, and at their wits’ end, especially when it comes to their teen kids and the challenges of navigating the digital world. One particular family stands out—a Mum and Dad desperate to understand why their once-outgoing son had become withdrawn, irritable, and glued to his phone. They described escalating arguments over screen time, failed attempts to enforce limits, and a growing fear that they were losing him to a virtual world they didn’t fully understand. Their worries ran deeper than just phone addiction; they feared for his mental health, academic performance, and social connections. Sitting with them, I could feel their love and genuine concern, but also their uncertainty about how to reconnect with their son without pushing him further away. It was clear they needed guidance, reassurance, and practical tools to rebuild their relationship and help him find balance in his digital life. Talking to a 15-year-old boy about phone addiction requires sensitivity, understanding, and a collaborative approach that respects his growing independence while addressing genuine concerns. Parents often find themselves walking a fine line between guiding their teens and avoiding confrontation. It’s essential to recognise that for many teens, their phones are more than just devices—they’re social lifelines, sources of entertainment, and even places of self-expression. By opening the conversation in a non-judgmental way, actively listening to his perspective, and working together to find solutions, parents can foster trust and encourage healthier habits. This approach not only addresses the immediate issue of phone use but also strengthens the parent-teen relationship for future challenges. I started off our coaching sessions talking about how to set the scene without creating immediate hostility with their son. 1. Set the Right Tone 2. Start with Empathy 3. Use Facts, Not Fear 4. Involve Him in Problem-Solving 5. Be a Role Model 6. Offer Support, Not Control 7. Celebrate Progress By showing empathy, collaborating on solutions, and maintaining open communication, parents can help their teens reflect on their phone use and develop healthier habits. Here are some coaching questions to ask your teenager about phone addiction, designed to foster reflection and problem-solving: Explore Awareness Uncover Motivations Address Challenges Collaborate on Solutions Reflect on Progress These questions aim to shift the focus from blame or control to self-awareness and empowerment, helping him take ownership of his phone habits. If you’d like to work personally 1-2-1 with me as a family get in touch for a Power Hour
‘Swiped: The School That Banned Smartphones.’ New Channel 4 documentary shows just how bad mobile phones are for YOUR children

Research from a new Channel 4documentary shows just how bad mobile phones can be for children in terms of their mood and sleep patterns. Matt and Emma Willis front Swiped on Channel 4 and they say the results of experiment with smartphones are ‘beyond worrying’ Two part series Swiped tackles the timely issue of the impact of smartphones on children’s behaviour. Hosts Matt and Emma Willis joined forces with The Stanway School in Colchester and challenge a group of Year 8 pupils – and themselves – to give up their smartphones completely for 21 days. This experiment, conducted in conjunction with The University of York, sees the 26 pupils undergo a series of tests with experts meticulously monitoring their behavioural changes over the 21 days, repeating the tests at the end of the three weeks to conclude what effects giving up your phone really does have on your brain including sleep and attention. 1000 pupils also surveyed about phone habits. The tests included a series of cognitive tasks, testing attention, reaction times and memory. Pupils also participated in questionnaires covering sleep, anxiety, depression, mood, stress, loneliness, enjoyment and social connectedness. The results are revealed in the second episode of the series and include: Show presenters Matt and Emma Willis said: “The statistics on children’s smartphone use are beyond worrying so the time feels absolutely right for the issue to be addressed. We really hope the results of the experiment can spark change and have a lasting and positive impact on everyone Posing as 13 year olds on TikTok with new phones, hosts Emma and Matt, were sent suicide content and violence against women within 4 hours of starting scrolling on a new account. Shocked Emma says in the programme: “It’s just not what I thought it would was. I know you hear stories about what can be found on there but finding and searching for something is very different from it being served to you the first time you go on there as a 13 year old.” Matt later says some of the things kids have access to on their phones is “terrifying”. Speaking within the programme, Dr Rangan Chatterjee said: “I think there’s no question at all, we’re giving children smartphones far too young. As a doctor I have seen time and time again that teenagers and adolescents have their mental health problems get significantly better when they cut out the smartphone. I think we as parents are going to have to help our children reset their relationship with technology. In terms of some common principles, I would suggest adopting screen-free mealtimes and no technology in bedrooms.” Watch the documentary with your kids here: https://www.channel4.com/programmes/swiped-the-school-that-banned-smartphones